The moment I step inside a hospital, everything changes. It's a whole new world in there, dark & depressive. Currently, I'm sitting inside the emergency ward of CMH, contemplating each & every being here & writing this while waiting to leave this place to never return. I seldom used to go to hospitals. Always avoided going there even if needed, unless terribly needed. Always depended on home medication & thankfully it worked for me, everytime & this is why I never got to construct the habit of this gloom ridden place. These hospitals give me unusual anxiety, combined with pensive sadness. That goes away as soon as I step outside of it. The thought of going to hospital, alone, is enough to send in creeps. For the reality that I witness here is way more real than anything & it cuts my heart. I know how to deal with my own sadness or disease but how to deal with other's, I don't know. A few minutes ago, while I stood at the reception, getting my slip done, a mother came holding a two years old kid. His right side of head was bleeding out of the bandage. His cute little face was covered half in blood & the other side, to my shock, displayed a huge smile. His innocent smile combined with blood, struck me with horror. It crushed me, completely. Why is he not crying, I continously questioned myself. I wanted him to cry & not smile in blood. Because in pain, you cry! That's what I knew. But he kept on smiling at me, while wanting to play hide & seek and I kept on staring at him in agony. When he was gone, I saw another little girl, crying at the top of her lungs. The whole lounge could hear her. She was burnt. I took a quick glance at her feet and removed myself of that lounge, swiftly, till she was gone. Now that I'm out of that horrible place, I'm so much better. But the screams of that little girl still resonate in my ears & I don't think I can ever forget that little brave boy, that overpowered the bitterness of pain with his sweet smile.
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